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Departures & Arrivals (all on schedule)

I want to be comfortable with myself.  That is, I want to feel comfortable with who I am and feel comfortable in my skin.  Well, it has been quite challenging to attain this while trading sleeping time for driving time.  I’m looking forward to getting in a car rarely instead of daily.  I can’t say that I’ll really miss seeing the two landfills each day.  I had a nice goodbye to the them today as I passed them to and from school.  With the heavy rain, the pungent scent of rotting waste was thicker than usual.

I will miss the equally as pungent smells of fresh, ripe tropical fruits.  That has been awesome.  That and all of the vegetation everywhere.  The many varieties of palm tree, all of the succulents, and the beautiful symbiotic relationships seen in the lives of the trees.  There is a lot of beauty here.  Certainly that is all in perspective, but honestly there is beauty in all things.  I have enjoyed the strangeness, the unfamiliarity in things further South.  But the sacrifices of my current lifestyle bring me pain.  Pain that I cannot tolerate.  Pain that must be avoided.  I cannot sustain this.  And so I shall change so that I can survive.  And so….(soft melodic music begins to play)…“Leaving,..Flo..rida…Leaving, Florida.”

I don’t know.  Maybe I’ll be back.  It doesn’t matter.  I’ve been here and I’m still here.  It’s not my home.  Adios, mein Freund.

Ever forward

I must first say I am glad that the semester is finally over.  Mostly due to the fact that I drive 15 hours a week, which equates to 3000 miles a month, to commute to school.  I overestimated myself in thinking that I could successfully make this schedule work.  My performance in some of my courses was hurt because of the draining effect driving so much has on me. There is only so much time in a day, and I can think of plenty of better things to do than spend my time behind the steering wheel creating unwanted tension in my upper body in particular.  Not to mention that I have the privilege of passing two landfills each twice a day.   

Well.  Anyways…ENC 1102 has been my favorite class this semester by far.  I feel that I have put forth some good work in completing assignments for this class, though there is certainly always room for improvement.  ENC 1102 has been, by far, the most dynamic class I have been in this semester.  In most of my other classes, I don’t really know anyone, because everyone seems to mind to there groups of friends and for the fact that FIU is, after all, a commuter school.  It seems like everyone is ready to get back in their car and go back home as soon as class is over.  I moved to Florida only six months ago, and pretty much only know the people in my English class and my three biology lab partners.  It’s a total drag even for me, given that many people have commented on my PMA (positive mental attitude) and my enthusiasm (which can be overwhelming quite often).  What did I learn?  I realize now how important it is for me to have people that I know I can turn to for help and support.  I can tell that I learn much better given an environment where I have a number of friends/peers who offer honest feedback and advice.  For the most part, I felt that with my classmates in 1102.  I was happy to be able to talk openly with the the people in my class and our instructor as well.

I try to refine my behavior in all of my interactions.  I have been told throughout my life to think before I act.  I used to resent the advice and those who offered it up.  Now I see what a great and simple suggestion it is.  I bring this up in response to the “distractions” mentioned that occurred in class (Olivera).  Point being I have become quite adept at creating “distractions”.  So I try not to say everything that comes into my head because I realize that only some of it pertains to the discussion and will actually be positive input.  Throughout the semester, I have tried to improve my self-control and share the better half of things I have to say.  Still, there is always room for improvement.

As far as my writing, I think it has definitely improved.  Last semester, in the spring, the only writing that I had to do was chemistry lab reports and short essays on my sociology exams.  I actually thought that it sounded fun to take a writing course.  Well, it has been.  I especially enjoyed the exploratory essay.  I found this assignment particularly flexible and inspiring.  This assignment and others this semester have really stretched my abilities in expressing myself.  In the last couple of years, I have really thought about how to make ideas that I want to share with people more accessible.  I don’t want to force people to do things, but I do honestly know that some ideas that come into my mind are the “right” thing to do.  So I have wondered how best to develop a more subtle method of the transference of ideas.  This course has helped me to do so.  The public speaking class that I was in last semester and this writing course together have took me a long way in being able to communicate my thoughts to others.  I have grown to take more time developing my ideas and I find that the more I discuss them with others, the better I understand them myself.  So this ties back into the fact that I have peers in my writing class to talk with.

I think that your interactions with your students has been exceptional.  I can tell that you make an effort to get to know your students and hear them out when they have something to say.  I respect greatly your ability to conduct class according to your values rather than blindly adhering to a set of rules.  This flexibility, creativity, and courage on your part helps to inspire your students.  I doubt that all of my classmates agree with this.  Throughout the semester, I have talked with some who have shared feedback like how annoying it is that you post last minute Moodle emails or that you didn’t explain some requirements clearly.  I do agree with the latter, but at the same time I never found any difficulties when I cleared up any misunderstandings during or after class or through email.  As far as the last minute emails, on your behalf, I have to say that you were honest from the start.  You laid it out quite clearly at the beginning of the semester.  I did my best to check my email and come to class prepared.  I sure have no clue what it’s like working as a teacher and raising two children.  My only suggestions are that you continue to develop your patience with your students.  I am sincerely (indeed, without wax) grateful to you for all of your help and encouragement.

Works Cited

Olivera, Natasha.  “Farewell Fall 2011 ;(“.  Inspired Musings.  Natasha Olivera, 26 November 2011.  Web.  30 November 2011.

“F*** Sandusksy”

I think that the fact that this serious problem was hidden, ignored, delayed…goes to show what is really important to some people.  ”One more game.”  Does it really matter if Jerry Sandusky is a good coach or a great coach?  Should we ignore his other faults and fuck-ups so that Penn State can have a better season?  Should his coaching abilities be honored while his crimes overlooked?  I say no.  I think that he should be sent to a nice place where he can experience the kind of “love” that he shared with so many young boys…

I wonder if he really thought, if he really convinced himself that he was helping people.  Maybe.  Maybe he just ignored the hurt and pain that he caused looking selfishly only at his own personal gain instead.

I think that everyone who knew about Sandusky’s actions should be held accountable.  Their reluctance to act is certainly deserving of consequence.  The fact that they didn’t act in a concerned and timely manner makes me wonder who else participated in these locker room assaults.

In a recent MSNBC interview, Sandusky admitted that he took showers with young boys, but that he is in fact innocent.  It is really hard for me to imagine what it must be like to be able to convince yourself of such bullshit.  When I have done things in the past that I know are wrong, I never got to the point that I actually influenced my perception and recollection of how things happened.  I wonder if Sandusky actually knows that he did wrong, or if he has actually gotten to the point of convincing himself that he is actually innocent…

The art of sexting

I didn’t have a cell phone until I was 20 so I never had the problem of texting naked pictures to anyone.  Now that I have a phone, I must admit that I have communicated in this way with my girlfriend, but I have never shared these pictures with anyone or even talked to anyone about them for that matter.  Punishing teens who sext is a good thing.  That said, labeling them as sex offenders is definitely a bad idea.  If they should be labeled anything, their tag should read something like “kisses and tells”.  Community service could be beneficial as a punishment, but jail time seems a bit harsh for teenagers who are exploring their developing sexuality.  It’s only natural and it’s not some new trend.

If sexting happens between kids of about the same age, it doesn’t need to be treated so harshly.  These kids are going to share the things that they want to so what good is it to ban them on one medium?  I think it’s wrong for someone to share an intimate picture without the permission of the other’s implicated and involved, but that’s an issue of personal trust.  I’m not sure how best to solve this major issue though.  Instilling trust is probably not happening with the solutions offered by the current justice system.  I think we have bigger things to think about as global citizens that we should just let teenagers send naked pictures to one another.  Maybe they’ll figure out how to be more responsible about it.

Safe Haven?!?

In Indiana, I recall seeing a bright orange sign outside a community center designating the building as a “Safe Place”.  I assumed that it meant kids could seek refuge here from bullies or anyone else they felt threatened by.  I asked my girlfriend if she had seen these signs and if so, what she thought they meant.  She said yes she’s seen them, and thought it meant child runaways could find shelter at these places.  When I learned what these signs really mean (which was just yesterday when I watched the video about the Kentucky college student who didn’t take advantage of this oppurtunity), I was rather shocked.  I understand that there are going to be women who find themselves pregnant and without the desire or means to raise that child.  I also understand that as a man I can only attempt to imagine what it would be like to feel that immense responsibility.  It seems essential to me that the fathers of these babies should be held equally accountable for the child that was created.

Women should not be forced to raise their unwanted children.  This would likely only create a new problem.  If they are unwillingly raising a child, they will only display this in their treatment of the child.  They should have to deal with the consequences of their decisions.  The main goal in trying to solve this problem should be making sure that these children find their way to caring homes, and as the video demonstrates, people are not aware of the opportunities available to them.  This woman could have dropped her newborn baby off anonymously at a “Safe Haven”, but instead she chose to abandon it in a dumpster.  I certainly think that these laws have the potential to solve the problem of infant abandonment.  In one sense, I feel that there should not be an opportunity to give up your child anonymously.  At the same time, it seems likely that the idea of having to deal with the consequences of their actions would deter some from dropping off their newborn at a “Safe Haven” (non-anonymously).  The Safe Haven laws offer an alternative to a much worse outcome.  If there are children who end up in the care of a responsible party, then it seems that progress is being made.  Ultimately, though the problem seems to be that people are not taking their actions seriously enough.

Openended

Thoughts, rants, ravings, fears, dreams, goals…each of these will have their proper place, their appropriate time.  Timing is everything, and a part of everything, not apart from any thing.

A sense of freedom:  the ability to write and say anything that I want to, share anything…and yet I feel so reserved.  As if the wide open nature of the setting has me momentarily stunned, like a deer in headlights.

I need to improve my time management skills.  Often, I get so into my head, over-thinking things and not taking a moment to rest my mind.  A huge part of my time is spent doing assigned readings for classes.  Or trying to to.  I finish the assignments, but it takes a good deal of effort on my part to maintain focus while reading.  I will read one sentence and then drift off into my own thoughts on the subject.  In one sense, it is a good thing, because it helps concepts and ideas take root in my head.  On the other hand, it means that it takes me quite a while to complete a chapter.  However, I know that the more I practice staying focused, the better I will become at it.  I am reminded of something a friend told me at the beginning of last semester.  He said that developing new thought patterns in your brain is like the digging of a trench.  Each time that you repeat the process, the groove gets a little deeper, becoming easier to travel.  That’s something to look forward to.

Driving everyday is now a large part of my life.  I have to drive three hours a day for the five days a week that I have class.  For the past five years, driving has been a once or twice a week event.  I would always walk or ride my bicycle to get anywhere that I needed to go.  But I’m getting into being in the car every day.  Speeding down the turnpike with my creamed coffee blasting my international psychedelic music cassettes.  It works/I work it.  It’s a nice start to the day.  An hour and a half to prepare for the discussions and lectures to come.  I arrive awake and ready.

I am excited about my new creative outlet: the writing of this blog.  Having moved to Florida only three months ago, I don’t know many people.  Being able to share myself presents a comforting feeling.  It doesn’t even matter if anyone reads this.  I know one person who will.